Tuned In for Life

Of the many things that flow through my life, music is the one constant. One chorus, stanza or even a line from a song can transport me to another place, another time, another life.

 Is that important I hear you ask? Definitely!

As surely as time passes, music has been a true reflection of ourselves, our histories and our personalities. Our moods especially.

Have you ever heard a song and suddenly felt a warm smile creep over your lips as your mind is taken to a place where you were so happy? 

Have you ever felt tears come from listening to a song ?

I have often said that most occasions, gatherings and celebrations include food. Well, I think music is also up there as something shared and remembered.

Just as you might remember that amazing dinner you had to celebrate a birthday, you might also remember the song that was played as you felt the love of family of friends surround you.

My Mother had a beautiful voice. Mum sang in the Sydney Town Hall when she was young. I too got to play my violin at the Town Hall many years later, with my Mother in the audience beaming with pride. Mum sang all the light operas and musical operas. When I think of her singing 'When You Walk Through a Storm Hold Your Head Up High" from Rogers and Hammerstein's Carousel, well, the tears just well up. 

Music can also be a segway to making a connection when getting to know someone. Ive started many conversations with an acquaintance with ' have you heard....?' You can find out a lot about a person by their taste in music!

As I sit here typing, I am listening to Bernard Fanning on Spotify. When I think of him, I also think of Powderfinger and while I've seen the talented Bernard live - not 3 metres away, I never got the chance to see Powderfinger perform live. 

Being a child of the 60's and 70's bands like Deep Purple, Beatles, Uriah Heep, AC-DC, The Sweet and most of all Black Sabbath took me away from the tedium.

Black Sabbath especially kept me feeling close to my love, even though we were so far apart.

Songs by singers like Russell Morris have been on my playlists for 45 years and I still go to see him perform when I get the chance. 

During the year as COVID-19 put paid to all our usual activities many bands and singers have taken to live streaming concerts and performing even from their lounge rooms and what a brilliant way to keep us engaged and still able to enjoy. 

I loved playing music as well and learned to play not only Violin, but Cello, bass guitar, rhythm and lead

guitar and had a bit of fun with a 12 string guitar, although my small girly hands had much difficulty stretching across the frets, I can tell you!

The first record album I bought was in 1975. It was Cosmo's Factory by Creedence Clearwater Revival. About 2 weeks later, I bought Machine Head by Deep Purple. And so my love affair with music began. I was stood waiting patiently for the record store to open the day ACDC released their first album. I dutifully handed over my hard earned $5.95, took it home and played the hell out of it. I would shut myself in my bedroom and regardless of who I happened to be sharing my personal space with (either my grandmother, my mother or one of my sisters) 

The door would shut, the record player would be turned up and I was lost in that world coveting and consuming every written word on the album cover and if lucky enough, there might be inserts with songwords or pictures for me to devour and then, armed with newfound knowledge I couldn't wait to start up a conversation with someone - anyone who might also share my passion.

Of course when I was much younger, there was a weekly publication of the lyrics from all the songs in the 'Top 40' . I think Albert Music published them and I coveted them as well. Learning all the lyrics and singing them to myself over and over. 

I also adored the radio and 2SM or 2UW were always playing in the house. i loved ringing the radio stations and was often on air to announce the next song and one night I announced the birth of my niece! I knew latest songs by Paul McCartney and Wings, Pink Floyd, Sherbert, Skyhooks or Ted Mulry Gang and even met HUSH by chance in a record store.

The funny thing about HUSH, was that many years later while I was working in the meat room at Coles Hurstville, one of the new butchers put on a cassette of songs his Dad had been working on in his garage. I recognised the voice immediately, realised the butchers surname rang a bell and sure enough, his dad had been in the band, all those years ago! 

I hope music, its memories and where it takes you offers comfort and love.

As we emerge from this second wave of the dreaded pandemic here in Victoria, I am looking forward to being able to once again sit in a pub, drink in hand absorbing the vibes.

as always, please consider my virtual arms around you all

P <3

How to be Happy without even trying

How did I get here? 

Thats a very broad question. I mean, I do know HOW I got here, but after almost 61 years of earthly habitation, of weaving in and out of peoples lives, of learning, failing, loving, hurting and exploring, I can't help but marvel at the complicated, twisted and convoluted chain of events that led me here. 

Right here

to this exact point in time

There is a whole lot of 'if only' statements regarding that old chestnut of 'chasing happiness' 

You know.... 

'if only i had money, i would be happy' 

'if only i had stayed I would have been promoted'

'if only i had left I would be happy'

'if only I didn't get sick'

you get the picture?

There are many who believe our lives are mapped out in some kind of pre-designated universe plan.

Others (like in the terminator movies) believe there is no future but what we create ourselves and that our future is in our hands.

Well, what if it was both, or neither for that matter?

Followers of my ramblings will no doubt be familiar with my waffle entitled "which door do I go through?" in that, I spoke of the choices I made, which steered my life onto a completely different path form what I had anticipated.

For the most part, I believe we all are seeking happiness in some form among other things.

That of course is dependant on our goals, likes, dislikes and capabilities. To be loved is probably up there, along with successful career, good health, family etc

It is so hard to quantify success. Believe me, I have tried. It is equally as hard to quantify happiness.

I remember reading once about a guy who won the lottery. He vowed he would never work again, would do many charitable things, go on holiday, buy a better house and car etc.

Of course the needle on his happiness scale would have been high on the Richter scale, but apparently, after he had completed his bucket list, he felt lost and disengaged. he went back to work and began to behave just like the rest of us poor slobs. 

His happiness needle returned to its normal level and that elation and euphoria subsided.

He felt he needed to go back to work to feel normal again. 

It wasn't about the money after all

Lesson learned

Now it may seem bizarre, but our levels of happiness are on a kind of sliding scale. 

For example, a precious event, like getting married or a birthday party usually sends our happiness needle up - fantastic! but it will always slide back down to 'normal' and similarly, when disaster strikes, our needle plummets and so we tend to live in a series of peaks and troughs as events come and go. 

We need the normal, so that we can recognise what isn't.

So we look forward to events in our lives to make/keep us happy and engaged.

We have dreams, expectations and plans all in an effort to attain happiness and contentment.

Which brings me back to my own personal scale of happiness.

I have had some super happy times in my life, many dreams, also disappointments

BUT

The biggest thing I have learned is its not about the happiness itself

Its about the EXPECTATION

Like anything we do, be it work, relationships or health, we put in the ground work and we set our expectations, our expected result.

What I have learned is 

                               To Avoid Disappointment, Lower Your expectations

Im not saying to not strive or push the universe, because it is human nature to test our limits, but just think about your happiness when you exceed the limitations or expectations you put on yourself. 

More sustained happiness perhaps, just might mean less disappointment 

Only you are in control of your own happiness needle. it is no one else's responsibility and you truly cannot blame others.

Now back to me....

After my accident in Thailand cut short my own career, my disappointment was understandably huge. My expectations were smashed so Ive had to rethink my own goals and expectations and honestly?

I have sat back and taken yet another good, hard look at life and realised what I actually need to be happy is precious little.

The world has evolved and societal changes, especially over the last 40 years have seen huge leaps in human expectations and fulfilment. 

So I guess I am trying to pull back a little, take stock of what is truly important and lower my expectations, especially now as we come to grips with a spiralling and non discriminatory virus forcing us to stay close to home. 

I share each and every day with chronic pain and while I don't expect to wake up pain free one day, my hope is to find relief. 

I wake up every morning next to the man I adore.

 I am safe, I am loved and I have a voice and that, my dear readers, makes me happy.

I would love to know your thoughts

in these very strange and uncertain times around the world,

please consider my virtual arms around you all

Phillipa

Meanwhile, back at the ranch

For those of you who have returned to some type of normality either by retuning to work or being able to move around without too many restrictions I say hurrah!

For the rest of us (mainly Victorians) we are enduring a potential second wave of you-know-what and are looking for alternate and safe ways of amusing ourselves!

I guess the MOTH (man of the house) and I are pretty lucky as we have a very large project right in front of us, namely setting up our home.

For us this is quite a novelty as being in our 60's and having lived several other lives, we have moved house and reconfigured our lives many times over.

This is very different as this is a promise we made to each other back in 1977 when we were young, in love and thought ourselves invincible.

This home represents all the dreams that went awry, as well as all the years we had apart. As a teenager in love, there is only here and now and consequences don't exist. The mere whisper of them could make all your dreams evaporate into thin air.

So here we are in Central Victoria, in the middle of a pandemic and nothing but time on our hands. Uh huh...

We are both collectors and lovers of anything vintage (including ourselves) and so our biggest task has been finding homes for all our beloved possessions.

The MOTH prides himself on having a keen eye for a bargain and so every trip to an op shop results in a boot full of treasures. Let me list some of his penchants (in no particular order):

uranium glass (it glows under a black light) and depression or vaseline glass

bud vases and other glassware

bar ware, including cocktail glasses, shot glasses etc

19th century china

Antique French anything, including lace

Tiki mugs and indeed anything tiki related

Some of my most sought after items include:

Crystal vases and bowls

Ice buckets

Lacquer ware

Poker ware

Glass dishes with panoramic photos in the base

Antique fabric 

Antique clothes

Vinyl records

We both collect West German Pottery as well.

Now this became a thing when we first started putting our collections together. I had bought my Mother a West German vase back in 1979 and when she passed away, I took ownership and care of it and loved it. The MOTH owned a very similar vase and we discovered it was from the same batch! 

Definitely a sign from the universe!

We also love old furniture and restoring and giving new life to old pieces is giving us plenty to do. We tend to go looking in the second hand shops when we can and gather up possible projects to keep us occupied.

We have recently refurbished an old 1980's buffet and hutch for the kitchen. It has gone from a darkly stained, dreary piece, to a chalk painted beauty. The leadlights in the doors really pop now and the MOTH had some beautiful old ivory looking knobs that he had kept in a box for years and  I just loved them, so they are now proudly adorning the buffet.

I recently recovered 6 old dining chairs that belonged to the MOTH's Nan. I had a quote to have them done for $660, however I found a scrap of beautiful fabric in an op shop, got some new foam cut from Clark Rubber and redid them all for $60! They were a lot of work, but totally worth doing. 

As we spend pretty much 24/7 together, we are finally able to relax and do the simple things and as it is pretty cold down here, a sleep in followed by a leisurely breakfast and conversation is the norm. 

We have even gotten into the garden (what?? I hear you say?) and pruned all the standard roses and have started planning out how we want the yard to look, come spring and summer.

It may sound a little mundane, but after working hard for the last 40+ years, and searching for each other I reckon we deserve a little down time and a chance to 'smell the roses' so to speak.

I finish with a little thought that has been rolling around in my head for the last little while.

Happiness comes from within us. All the pretty things around us are great, but are possibly superfluous when you sit and hold the hand of the person you love.

Have a fabulous week and as always

Please consider my virtual arms around you all xx

Surviving the Lockdown

I am writing this from my newly appointed study/sewing room. Ok, so its basically a multi-tasking room. The MOTH has an equally well equipped study at the other end of the house.

All this new found space is proving to be very handy as living in Victoria means more stringent social restrictions.

Which leads me to the topic of this ramble: surviving the lockdown!

For the most part, most of us have been relatively homebound since March this year and we are all dealing with restrictions, changes and frustrations that would test even the best of us.

Personally, Ive been quite restricted since May 2019 when I broke my arm and shoulder so I had no choice in the matter when it came to being housebound and curtailed, however the MOTH was used to getting up at ten to five every morning in Sydney and driving an hour and a half to get to work.

All that changed when covid19 made its unwanted entrance and the world as we know it, has changed so much.

As all our plans of travel fell through, we bought a big house in country Victoria and that has meant big changes to our normal routines.

I am not working and the MOTH is working less due to less work around and he is working from home which means the getting up time is more like 9:30, followed by a leisurely breakfast before the computer fires up.

It also means that the never ending list of jobs around the house is getting some attention and what was a cold, beige expanse of living areas etc, now resembles something far more desirable and the choice of comfy, inviting lounging areas and cocktail sipping corners abounds!

Added to that, we have some awesome neighbours who love nothing better than to down garden rakes and head over for a cuppa and cake!

For many people, these past few months have been hard. So many businesses have been closed and the small country town we live in, resembles a bit of a ghost town from Monday to Thursday as most of the shops are only open for the back end of the week. Even then, there are still some tight restrictions on how many can be in a shop and let me tell you, queuing outside a shop in 10 degree weather is frustrating!

Anyone who knows me, knows I do a lot of cooking, however the MOTH and I do love our breakfasts out, or coffee and cake, so having a lovely big walk in pantry, I decided to stock up on staples. There are still restrictions on quantity buying though as people still panic buy!

In order to survive in this new order world, we have all been compelled to make changes in our lives. Terms like 'social distancing' didn't exist until now and it can be a challenge, especially when queuing or not going in for the hug when seeing old friends.

Buying more things online has been a bit of a challenge for me as i am tactile and I much prefer the interaction with humans as part of the buying experience. Although, I must say, I do enjoy getting parcels delivered! 

I do think we have managed the whole thing reasonably well, all things considered. For those who are socially awkward, introverted or shy, its been a bit of a godsend as their behaviour is now considered normal and acceptable, while those extroverted souls really have to hold back at times!

For me, I am quite happy to sleep a bit more, move a bit more slowly and take stock of what we have and how lucky we are to be in a safe place. I love spending extra time with the MOTH  and although the waistlines are suffering, cooking comfort food has never felt so good.

Lets enjoy our 'time out' from the crazy and revel a bit more in our own backyards for a while longer.

As always, consider my virtual arms around you all

Cancelled by Misadventure

Roughly 18 months ago, the MOTH and I were engaged in a rather animated discussion about 'what to do next'?

The past 4 odd years have been nothing short of a whirlwind

We set up cohabitation, travelled, wined, dined and danced ourselves silly, met a heap of great people and generally had a blast.

Now the MOTH has had his share of poor health - but I will get back to that  

So during the course of the conversations and amongst the grandiose plans set out before us, two were a standout:

1. Buy a pub and semi retire (sounds great, huh?)

2. Sell up and travel the world - yes....backpack at 60+ years of age

And so the discussion continued over the weeks and months. Great lists were made showing pros and cons of each path, discussion was had over the Universe making the decision for us but all the while and at the heart of it all was the pure thought that we wanted to be together.

Explore together

Discover together

Make our own path together

Love together

And although we can never recapture all those years we lost, we can sure as hell live every day from here on in making the most of what we have!

A Country hotel came up for sale out at Cassilis, about 40 minutes from Mudgee in NSW.

We even drove up there and did an inspection. It was everything we wanted! A magnificent old two story sandstone building on and acre of land, with other buildings and the freehold price was definitely do-able..

We did our sums, we investigated and we almost put in an offer, even though there was some work to be done to get it open again, I could see the MOTH sitting in an old chair out the front, shooting the breeze and chatting to the locals. Remember, I was still recovering from surgery on my arm and shoulder too so we didn't know what that was going to look like down the track.

 Well, the temptation to travel proved just too much!

Finally travel won out and so began the planning (I had done a fair bit of investigating and reading about overland travel whilst convalescing) 

We didn't want to put time limits on our trip, so the start of the journey would mean buying 2 x one way tickets to Bali and spending a month or so in Ubud just to decompress and slow down (a large task) 

From there, the plan was to work our way through Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam etc ending up in Nepal with some time in Kathmandu.

from Kathmandu, we were hoping to travel by train through the top of India, then eventually fly over to England, set up a base and travel out to places like Egypt, Morocco, Spain etc from there, including travelling around England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. 

From there, the European leg would begin. we had already been to Paris and Prague and definitely wanted to go back.

Like I said, a trip of a lifetime, backpacks in tow!

Now packing up your life is harder than it sounds, especially at our age and especially as we are both collectors and basically have a lot of stuff!

I hired another small storage unit near us and began carefully packing anything we didn't need out and slowly but surely filled it.

Selling stuff was easy and so I began sorting out what we needed as opposed to what we could turn into cash.

Then we worked out where to eventually store all our stuff and hired a large storage unit near my Son, so I knew everything would be safe, then we decluttered the apartment and put it on the market.

Three things happened, almost simultaneously:

1. The apartment sold

2. The MOTH was rushed to hospital with chest pains

3. COVID19 hit

As it happens, these events changed EVERYTHING for us

Suddenly, my darling MOTH was having life saving major surgery and all thoughts of travel escaped my head.

I almost lost him

He was only saved by two quick thinking specialists 

They ruled out any travel for 6 months

Meanwhile, the apartment sold and we needed to find accommodation, but also

It was at this time that restrictions were coming into force regarding travel for the covid19 outbreak

Australian borders closed and we decided that our travel plans would have to wait and we would need to purchase somewhere to live

All our belongings had been carefully packed away into storage for the duration.

We were in a panic to say the least. The MOTH, now on a plethora of meds and recovering, was in no state to deal with it all, so we quickly decided to buy a house in country Victoria. We needed to get out the the city, he needed to rest and recouperate and we needed some security.

Currently, there are no plans to allow overseas travel to start up again so here we are, living it large, rattling round a huge house.

Ive got to say though, we are, as always making the most of it. 

I guess you would call it nesting. 

I am restoring old furniture and he is putting in new light fittings, building a beautiful stacked stone wall to put in a slow combustion stove and we are turning this house into a home.

We have some amazing neighbours - a totally unexpected bonus!

Afternoon teas and impromptu dinners have now replaced our dance parties - but Im ok with that!

Who knows if and when we will be able to travel again, but in the mean time life is looking pretty sweet!

In the meantime

Please consider my virtual arms around you all 

Which door do I go through?

Isn't it funny how things just go along as expected, until one day there is a blip?

It might just be a small blip, but a blip all the same and enough to change the course of your life.

The man of the house (henceforth referred to as the Moth )  calls it a sliding door - you have a choice and you can go one way for a result or another way giving a different result. 

Not a lot of effort is required for such a change to occur.

Uh huh

In fact, when faced with a potentially life changing decision, you may not even be aware of the gravity of it and so you dive headlong into something unaware of any repercussions!

One such event is the meaning of my preamble.

Some 12 months ago -10th May to be precise, we were happily enjoying the final days of our 2 week trip to Thailand, oblivious to the twist the Universe was about to unleash when disaster struck! Due to a grave error in judgement on my part, I found myself cannoning headfirst towards freshly dug up concrete footpath, arms flailing while the Moth was busy looking anywhere but AT ME.

The result was a badly broken arm and although i didn't know it at the time, a fractured shoulder, torn rotator cuff and torn bicep. I am left handed and yep, it was my left hand of course!

OUCH

I was bundled into the back of a strangers car and whisked away to a hospital in Phuket. Barely conscious and in ridiculous pain, I might add!

Now there are several important lessons to be noted at this point.

1. Always carry your ID, travel documents and insurance details with you when in another country

2. Always (cannot stress this enough) have good travel insurance

3. Have a credit card for emergencies with you at all times

So here we are in another country - namely Phuket and I am in immediate need of surgery. Due to the fact that we had not adhered to lesson 1, the Moth had to grab a taxi back to Patong where we were staying to retrieve said documents, but not before he threw his Amex at the nurse and said "please help my wife"

Fortunately for me the closest hospital I had been taken to was a brand new private hospital - the kind you see on tv where they fix your boobs, nose, teeth etc (hmmmm...)

It was state of the art! Brand new with all the latest gear. Mind you,  I was in no state to argue or otherwise complain. By the time the Moth returned (he was frantic btw) I was in a bed, my badly grazed arm was cleaned up and dressed, they had taken blood and were prepping me for surgery.

To say I was scared was understatement! 

Im in a third world country, in pain, being put under a general anaesthetic and no idea what was about to happen! the language barrier made things worse and as they apparently have no need for hospital patient files, the Moth followed us down the hallway towards the operating theatre repeating frantically 'don't give her penicillin!!!! Do you understand me???' 

I awoke a few hours later with K-Wires protruding from my heavily bandaged arm, but generally feeling much better and far less pain. As a sidebar, the drugs for pain they give you in Thailand are AMAZING!!

My room for the night came complete with a bed for the Moth and 2 very attentive nurses. They even attempted to serve western food.

I was released the following day with instructions to return to the hospital to have my dressing checked and changed before our flight home.

Now, if that wasn't enough, several weeks earlier, we had booked in to Spider Ink to have some long awaited tattoos done. 

We kept our appointments, but I had to change the placement of my tattoo from my now bandaged arm, to my leg and in a suspended animation state of Oxycodon felt literally nothing! 

Jeb the owner commented on how 'hard core' I was!

Two days later, after being upgraded to Business class for the flight home (never want to travel in anything less from here on in thank you very much!) we arrived back in Sydney. I was taken straight to our local hospital.

The resident orthopaedic surgeons took one look and referred me to a specialist, saying they couldn't attempt to fix it. The shifty glances that were exchanged made me realise i was lucky to get home relatively unscathed and they were sure I would end up with an infection.

I was referred to a consultant specialist who booked me in for surgery.

So on the 20th May, yep 10 days later, the specialist removed the K-Wires and inserted a Titanium plate to join all the broken bones together. The pain afterwards was horrendous and as someone who rarely takes a panadol, I was begging for pain relief. 

And so began the long, tedious and very painful recovery. My arm was immobilised for 2 weeks, then the stitches were removed and I had to learn to reuse my hand and fingers. The hand and fingers refused to cooperate and it took much cajoling to see any improvement.

I cannot thank the Moth enough for the way he cared for me during that time, as I was unable to do even the simplest tasks and he did it all with love and a smile. I may have been a bit short tempered, but he understood as I am not one to languish about!

After about 2 months of physio and a hell of a lot of pain, they discovered the damaged to my shoulder, so back to hospital I went for more surgery, followed by more physio.

As a result, I was compelled to resign from work, as I couldn't give a return to work date and as the accident didn't happen at work, they would only accept me back in pre injury state.

I am still and will never be back to pre injury status, as the titanium plate and the amount of damage means I can't get full rotation of my wrist and am unable to drive for more than a few minutes. There are many tasks that I still struggle with - putting on a bra, brushing my hair to name 2!

Life (and more importantly, the Universe) has a way of sending you where you need to go. I hesitate to use the words 'early retirement' however, due to other unforeseen events regarding the Moth and an emergency hospital interlude with a badly damaged and collapsed artery, our little world has been turned upside down.

As I have mentioned in a past post, we had been planning an extended overland trip across Asia, India, Nepal then on to Europe and everywhere in between. Well, the Universe has had other ideas.

That story, my friends, will be my next post. 

But in the meantime, remember to be on the lookout for those 'sliding doors' or 'blips' You just never know if your life is about to change!

In this time of Covid19 awareness,

Consider my virtual arms around you all